New York City 005 300x225 POSITIVE PARENTING   OUTSIDE THE NEST.

 

I am at a point in time in my parenting career where changing diapers and making formula has become a distant memory.  I can remember making those late night runs to the supermarket or the corner store because I knew that we would not have enough of either to get through the night.

It’s interesting to note what was going on and what has changed since the time when my kids were born.

For example, I was born in November, 1952. A loaf of bread cost $.16, milk was $.96/gal, gas was $.27/gal and a postage stamp was $.03. Our country was being led by Harry S. Truman and I loved watching “I Love Lucy” and “The Ed Sullivan Show”.  There were no color televisions during that time.  So There!!

When my first son was born in June, 1983 the prices changed quite a bit.  Bread was $.54/loaf, milk was $1.89/gal, gas was $1.23/gal and to mail a letter it cost $.20. Ronald Regan was our president.  “Knight Rider” and “Magnum P.I.” became my favorite shows to watch.

In March, 1994, when son #2 was born, the prices continued to increase. Bread was $.76/loaf, milk was $2.29/gal, gas was $1.17/gal and stamps were $.29/each.  Bill Clinton was in his first term as U.S. president. “Frasier” and “NYPD Blue” were very popular.

By the time my third son was born in May, 2004, bread sold for $1.05/loaf, milk was $3.00/gal, gas was at $2.17/gal and the postage was $.37. George W. Bush was in his first term as president. It was also one of those times when I voted republican because I felt the Democratic Party was taking the minority vote for granted.

Many things changed during the time between 1952 and 2004. Some say that times have gotten worse. Others have said that times have gotten better. It is my opinion is that it really doesn’t matter. The one thing that had to stay consistent is the way in which we have to be positive parents.

(If you are interested to find out what was going on your birthdate visit dMarie Time Capsule. I found that looking up these dates very fascinating and it brought back many great memories of those times.)

My oldest will turn 29, my #2 is 18 and #3 will soon be 8. It is clear that don’t need me the same as they did when they were babies and it sometimes seems that my usefulness is over. That is until some financial issue comes up and my number is the first one on their speed dial. There was a time when that bothered me. That all changed as I remembered my relationship with my father. When I had issues he would be the first one I would call.

I have grown not to mind the “emergency” call   because I would rather them being in my pocket than that of a stranger. It also keeps me tuned into what is going on with their lives. I have found out that being honest with them about the help I can or cannot give keeps them feeling that they can trust me in those “deep and dark” moments.

My relationship with them has changed from one who is giving constant instruction to one who helps them as they move in the directions they want to move in. In most cases they need just a little tweaking about how they think about things. I do my best not to make my dreams their dreams. I want them to express themselves to the fullest. It would be very hypocritical to do anything else.

I also try to impress upon them that having experience does have its advantages. In some cases I have done or attempted to do these things they are doing or attempting now.

Overall I feel pretty good that the issues they need help in do not involve any criminal activities or any dealings with substance abuse. I hope and pray that this continues because I understand that this could change in a heartbeat

I am very happy that I do not have to provide 24/7 coverage for my kids, except for the soon to be 8 year old, because it gives me more freedom. I don’t have to worry about them doing the basic things correctly. Their mothers and I have done a pretty well in teaching them the differences between what’s right and what’s wrong.

With this new found freedom, I really have the chance to pursue some of my dreams that I have had to put on hold and believe me there is a lot going on between my ears. Maybe all that mental activity is because I forgot to take my medicine. Oh well!!

In any event I feel positive with them being outside the nest. I look forward that my role as a positive parent is continuing to grow.

I LOVE BEING A DAD!!

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