New York City 484 199x300 POSITIVE PARENTING   FIND YOUR PEACEWe have once again come to that part of the year when the last 2 major holidays will make their appearances. It seems as I get older these years travel faster and faster.  I like this time of year because here in NYC we see real dramatic changes. For one thing, the leaves on the trees all change colors and on some streets the range of colors is really beautiful. The other thing we see is all the winter decorations that adorn some homes and businesses. Spending time in NYC in November and December is something everyone should do.

It is during this time of the year when I also reflect on the progress that I have made. I love to check how this blog is doing and I am happy to say more of you came to visit me this year than last year. This makes me feel that I am going in the right direction.

The other area I like to look at is my personal progress. I consider November my power month. I feel this way because it was during this month that I got sober (Nov. 2, 1991) and it’s also my birth month (Nov. 19). Nov. 19 is also the day I stopped smoking cigarettes (15 years ago).  So you can see why this month is so special for me.

As I look over the rest of the year there have been a few changes for me. My ten year relationship with my significant other is over, it’s been almost a year since my mom was placed in a nursing home and I lost a grandchild.

Based on this year’s events alone, no one would blame me if I were to revert back to that person who drank and smoked. I could always use the convenient excuse” the events made me do it”.

Despite what has gone on, I feel positive about the future. On my Face book page, my motto is that “I am the guy with the glass that’s half full”. I strongly believe that life can be a positive experience and that those negative things that pop up are tools to use to make us stronger.

As a positive parent, I know that my kids watch me both during good times as well as the bad times. This has been a strong motivator for me in keeping such a positive attitude. For me it’s a conscience effort to be aware of how I’m reacting to things. There are many eyes on me.

I had a great discussion with my oldest son. It was his child that died. He talked about the emotional roller coaster he had experienced. He also described that at some point in time he had found his peace.

Finding your peace can be the most significant thing you could do to get you through a difficult situation. For me it’s about calming the many voices in my head so that I can come to most reasonable solution and there are many times when I don’t get it right the first time. Trial and error are the catch words until I reach that moment of peace.

Finding your peace does not have to be limited to negative events. It is during this time of year when many people get together. This can be the best time to find your peace with your relationships. Use this time to bury the hatchet and by no means do I mean in someone’s head. The jails are full.  We must also be careful with the words we use. Some words can cut like razors, or for that matter, hatchets.

I just came up with a great idea. Create a document. Let’s see…… We could call it a peace treaty. Yeh…. In the document you could say that both of you agree to get along with each other and have the document expire next year. Each of you sign it and now the both of you are at peace until next year. I think this could work.

Find your peace!!

I would like to wish everyone a Happy Thanksgiving!!





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