New York City 026 300x225 HOW ABOUT A HUG?In a previous post I talked about the highly controversial topic of spanking. In that post I said that spanking is an important part of child rearing.  My views on that have not changed.  I feel that spanking is one way for parents to remain in control and to teach their children about acceptable behavior.  I feel that the earlier we use this with our children, the less problems we will have with them later on.  We must impress on our kids that we are not their equals. As positive parents we must define that boundary.

I want to make one thing perfectly clear.  There are no excuses for child abuse.  Spanking should never be used as a means to hurt our kids.  It is one of the many tools we use with our children to help them to grow up and to become useful citizens.

Another tool that I find equally as effective as spanking is hugging.  I feel that as positive parents our job of giving support is just as important as teaching discipline.

I can remember many times when my wife, a coworker or a friend  gave me a hug just because it looked like I needed one. Receiving a hug at that right moment can make all the difference  As positive parents we need to be more attentive to our kids’ emotional states.  We can not be alert only when things aren’t going well, ready to dole out discipline.  We must also be ready to give positive affirmation.  Our kids have a lot of pressures on them.  There are times when we are not going to know what those pressures are.  If we are attentive, we will see those changes in their emotions.  With my own kids, I ask questions but sometimes they can’t or won’t articulate what’s going on with them.

As a positive parent I don’t need to solve all my kids problems.  I want them to use their reasoning skills to work out those issues.  This is where the hug comes in.  I give my kids a hug to let them know that they are OK and to assure them that if they need help, I am the one they should come to. A hug allows me to create a special bond with my kids.

Every situation needs to have a balance.  I feel that hugging is the balance for spanking.

This is my view. I would like to read about your views. Leave a comment. As always don’t forget to vote in this week’s poll.

I LOVE BEING A DAD!!

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